


it fucks with your honor (and it teases your head)

by warptimeandspace



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, TAZ Amnesty, mostly healthy communication, post hunt debriefs with your awesome monster gf, pretending you're not terrified and traumatized bc of your scary job, promising to stay, talking about the murders you didn't commit, this is probably fueled by my irl energy rn but i hope it's still good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 23:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16983630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warptimeandspace/pseuds/warptimeandspace
Summary: “Hey there Hot Stuff,” Dani says, her voice soft and warm. “How’d the hunt go?”The words get stuck on Aubrey’s tongue. How did the hunt go? If Aubrey’s being honest? Pretty shitty, that’s how the hunt went. She doesn’t want to drop that on Dani though, so she shrugs her shoulders.“You know,” Aubrey says as she starts to unbutton her jeans. “’m not dead. That’s a win.”Dani nods. “Yeah, it is. What’s up with the shades?”or, aubrey and dani chat about the past few days.





	it fucks with your honor (and it teases your head)

Aubrey is exhausted.  
  
Her head throbs with an unpleasant drumbeat and her entire body is coated in a layer of grime. Part of the unholy coating is probably sweat, part blood, and part tree byproduct. Her left shoulder hurts where she was thrown into the ground earlier and she hasn’t decided if it’s something to bother Duck about yet of if she should just let it be. Maybe she should just rest first.  
Aubrey opens the door to her room carefully. She doesn’t think that Dani has retired for the evening yet but she doesn’t want to wake her if she has. The weeks that abominations are present Aubrey snatches sleep in the odd hours they aren’t busy and most of those aren’t during the times people with respectable sleep schedules rest. She crashes on the couch in the basement lounge most of the time, partially so she doesn’t wake Dani and partially so she’s available the second she’s needed. It’s been three days since Aubrey slept in a bed and almost twenty-four hours since her last nap. That’s not really so long, Aubrey’s managed longer before, but it feels like forever, as if the strain of battle and uncomfortable conversations have worn her paper thin.  
Aubrey starts to strip in the dark, quietly pulling a drawer open so she can retrieve pajamas. As she peels off layers of dirty clothing Aubrey realizes that Dani isn’t in bed, she’s in their connected bathroom, the door cracked as she brushes her teeth.  
  
“Hey honey, I’m home,” Aubrey says, an announcement just as much as a greeting.  
  
Dani opens the bathroom door the rest of the way with her foot, her mouth full of toothpaste foam. She holds up a finger before spitting and rinsing her mouth. It’s a little gross, with the teeth germs and the spit and stuff, but the casual domesticity of it makes Aubrey feel sort of goopy despite her internal disquiet.  
  
“Hey there Hot Stuff,” Dani says, her voice soft and warm. “How’d the hunt go?”  
  
The words get stuck on Aubrey’s tongue. How did the hunt go? If Aubrey’s being honest? Pretty shitty, that’s how the hunt went. She doesn’t want to drop that on Dani though, so she shrugs her shoulders.  
  
“You know,” Aubrey says as she starts to unbutton her jeans. “’m not dead. That’s a win.”  
  
Dani nods. “Yeah, it is. What’s up with the shades?”  
  
Aubrey freezes, her hand flying to her face. She’s still wearing her sunglasses, just like she has been since she got back from Sylvain. Aubrey’s heart pounds and she’s suddenly irrationally terrified that Dani will be mad at her. She did things that were wrong, in major enough ways that Aubrey feels dirty in a way that the plant yuck can’t explain.  
  
“Can we talk about it tomorrow?” Aubrey asks. Her voice cracks, like it was mangled through the pressure of her anxiety.  
  
“Aubrey.”  
  
“It’s just not that big a deal,” Aubrey says, “The conversation will still be there if we put a pin in it for the night.”  
  
“Aubrey,” Dani says, leaning against the frame of the bathroom door. “You’re shaking, honey.”  
  
Aubrey looks down at her hands holding her pajamas. They’re shaking visibly, making her clothes flutter in her hands. Aubrey feels painfully hot, hot like a panic attack or hot like fire she hasn’t figured yet, as she looks at Dani.  
  
“If we talk now, you’re not going to want me to stay.” She says. “You’re going to be mad and I’m going to have to go sleep in the basement again because you’re not going to want me here and I hate the basement. I hate the basement like I hate knowing that this is going to hurt you and I’m just so tired Dani.”  
  
“No matter what happens, we stay,” Dani promises. “I’ll stay for you, okay?”  
  


Aubrey takes off her sunglasses and slides them on to the bathroom counter. She looks at Dani knowing that one eye is the same brown it always has been and that the other eye is radiating faint orange light.  
  
“Holy shit,” Dani says.  
  
“I touched the crystal,” Aubrey says unnecessarily.  
  
“I figured,” Dani says.  
  
“I think it tried to kill me,” Aubrey says. “And the interpreter, she hated me before, but she definitely hates me now because I did essentially get in a fight with the rock that’s giving Sylvain life. I also helped Duck? And he really fucked up this time, he brought an abomination here? To our basement? He was hurt and sort of like a baby because he didn’t know what he was doing so Duck was like ‘Hey Aubrey, help me talk to this fucking goat?’ only he didn’t say it like that because he’s a kind and considerate person. So, I did some magic, but I did it sort of bad so Billy, our new goat friend, can only say Duck and pizza.”  
  
“Wow,” Dani says. “That’s—”  
  
“We’re not done yet,” Aubrey says. She feels like the words are spilling out of her like water and she can’t stop them, can’t soften their impact, so she just has to push through. “We brought Billy out to the woods with us because our friend Indrid, the literal Mothman, lives out at the RV park he said he could help us hide Bitty with a charm like your ring or Barclay’s bracelet. So we got him there and Billy does look a lot like Ryan Gosling now. We asked Indrid for his glasses because we didn’t know they were his charm and Indrid was like, sure, I’ll fuck with my new friends and show them my giant bug form with no warning because it’ll be funny. But the shades in the Winnie weren’t closed so, Keith? that guy who hates Jake? Totally scoped the Mothman out.”  
  
Dani looks terrified. “Did you tell Mama?”  
  
“No,” Aubrey says. “I told him that I would kill him and he believed me so I didn’t tell Mama.”  
  
Dani is suddenly deathly quiet. She’s so quiet that Aubrey can hear Dr. Harris Bonkers in his cage in the corner. He’s eating something, maybe cauliflower? It’s crunchy, whatever it is. The crunch of little bunny teeth is somehow deafening in the stillness.  
  


Something starts to burn.  
  
The tee shirt in Aubrey’s clenched fist starts to scorch and smoke, her fingers have reached a temperature too high for it to handle.  
  
“Fuck!” She says suddenly, dropping the shirt on the ground and stomping on it. The fire doesn’t go out, only spreading under Aubrey’s growing anxiety.  
  
“Stop,” Dani says as she grabs the towel from the counter of the bathroom and drops it over the shirt. “I’ve got it.”  
  
There is a measure of silence. Aubrey is not typically uncomfortable in quiet around Dani but this is something else, something unreal and awful. Dani looks stunned numb as she just looks at Aubrey.  
  
Aubrey holds the silence for a moment. She counts to fifteen and Dani makes no moves.  
  
“I’ll go to Duck’s.” She says. “His couch is more comfortable than the basement’s and then you’ll have time to—” Aubrey doesn’t even know.  
  
“You can’t,” Dani says. “You can’t touch an engine right now, you’re on fire, you’d blow the gasoline. Besides, we agreed to stay.”  
  
The carpet is smoking where it comes in contact with Aubrey’s bare feet, the synthetic fibers melting into a plastic mess. Dani's right, of course, she usually is, but it doesn't make things any easier.  
  
“What am I supposed to do then?” Aubrey asks. “What do you want me to do?”  
  
Dani thinks for a second. “Come here,” She says, motioning for Aubrey to follow her into the bathroom. Aubrey steps after her and the tile sizzles where her feet hit.  
  
Dani puts the shower on full blast without hot, the iciest water in Amnesty Lodge, and steps aside for Aubrey to climb into the tub. She does, still wearing her bra and half unbuttoned jeans. The room instantly steams as Aubrey is hit with the shock of water. The cold makes Aubrey’s chest hurt as she tries to breathe through the moment.  
  
Dani turns off the tap and climbs into the tub with Aubrey. She’s cautious at first but the combined distraction of icy cold water paired with the extinguishing powers of a good shower has put Aubrey’s fire out.  
  
Dani lays her head on Aubrey’s shoulder.  
  


“Would you have done it?” She asks.  
  
“Killed Keith?” Aubrey says. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to and telling him that I would made me sick but if he hadn’t believed me? If he had told me he was going to go to Stern or some shit? I might of, to protect Amnesty Lodge, but I don’t know how I would have lived with myself afterward.”  
  
Dani sighs as she processes this.  
  
“You shouldn’t feel too bad about the crystal.” She says. “Sylvain’s been dying for ages, you can’t have sped up the process too much.”  
  
“It’s your home,” Aubrey says, “I know you can’t go back but I also know it hurting hurts you. I never want to hurt you.”  
  
“This is my new home, here with you,” Dani says. “Tell me about the goat.”  
  
“His name is Billy and he’s sort of like a kid,” Aubrey says. “I don’t think he ever meant to hurt anyone.”  
  
“I don’t think you ever meant to hurt anyone,” Dani says.  
  
“I didn’t,” Aubrey says. “I don’t know how to handle it, hurting people. I’m made for helping. I want to do good.”  
  
“You are good.” Dani says, “You do good all the time. Today you just missed.”  
  
“Tomorrow?”  
  
“Tomorrow, we’ll do better.”  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> anyways i only have one more final left in my first semester of undergrad and i was like... may as well write one fic as a winter break teaser. i feel like aubrey is owed at least one panic every time she has a life changing experience and she doesn't get them often so i was like hmm, time to funnel my anxiety into this weird space. i like it though, there's some softness to it.  
> title from [blood bank](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpFUc8ABDMQ) by bon iver  
> i have a [tumblr](https://warptimeandspace.tumblr.com/) and i'd love it if you visited me


End file.
